Hummer H2 SUT - H2our De Force

June 15, 2005 - Day Six: Williston, ND to Bismarck, ND

Miles: 252
Miles-to-date: 2724
States: 1
Gas Stops: 2
Rest Stops: 1
Cows Passed: Thousands
Locals Amusing Themselves With Term "Dirty Hummer": 12
Attempts At Speed Limiter: 2
Meals With Arby-Q sauce: 1

Tech Editor Sean P. Holman:

After yesterday's 1080-mile day and a brief stop for some sleep, Ken and I were raring to go hit some more trails and finish up a short leg today. We hooked up with some of the guys of the Cliffhangers four-wheel-drive club of Williston, ND. We met at the neighborhood Arby's and joined the three Jeeps and GM full-size for a few hours of wheeling, North Dakota style.

Right off the bat the group guided us through prairies and gullys of North Dakota's backcountry, in hopes of delivering our H2 to a hilltop overlook that once was employed by the Lewis and Clark expedition to survey across the Missouri River. Sounded great to us, and the wheeling, minus the gazillion or so man-eating mosquitoes we churned up in the brush, was exceptional. Crawling through the tightly-spaced groves of trees, ooey-gooey black mud, downed tree branches and logs, steep creek banks and waving grasslands, we had our work cut out for us, piloting the heavy H2 through some of the looser soil. Note to Hummer: We'd like a front locker, please. On some of the tougher obstacles, it took the low-hanging H2 a few tries to conquer, but we never called for the strap once (or looked to the winch for that matter), and yet again the H2 impressed everyone in its presence. While the 35s seem big in a dealership showroom, they looked downright civilian in this group and had us wishing for 37s, but the despite the difficult terrain, the H2 got us through everything we asked of it.

After thanking the group with some Four Wheeler schwag, we parted ways and headed back to the highway, which, would eventually bring us east to Bismarck, ND. Since we filled yesterday with a long day of driving, we were anxious to pitch camp early and decided to make up some time in the H2. It was while making up time, we discovered that the H2 is surprisingly stable at or around the speed limiter, if not a little noisy from all the air trying to get around it. Since we haven't cleared the state or the statute of limitations, that's all we will say for now...except that bug splatters at that speed are extreme! We also found out that when there is a gale force headwind and you exceed 85mph for 200 miles, you tend to limit you're your driving range some. We snickered as we passed yet another pesky Prius, only to find ourselves lapped while pitting.

As we neared our evening home of the Bismarck KOA, Ken was talking up a storm about how excited he was to finally cook on this trip. He must have mentioned home-cooked meals about 30 times during our travels, and as we discussed cuts of meat, my palette was preparing for the feast that awaited us. Upon our arrival to the KOA, we discovered that they offer Wi-Fi throughout the camp, so I ventured off to check my e-mail and prepare for tonight's double upload. On my return, dinner was served. Not quite the home cooked meal I had been longing for, but rather a camping staple of Dinty Moore beef stew, which actually does rate above hospital food when warm (and is especially good when washed down with an ice cold Dr. Pepper!). Just to make it interesting, I think I am going to remove the labels from every can and be surprised at what is for dinner tomorrow. When we arrive at Ken's farm in Illinois on Friday, I'll interview his wife and kids to determine if he can actually cook real food. If not, I guess there is always airline food on my way back to So Cal. Hmmm, Dinty Moore in a can is sounding better all the time.

Tomorrow we'll be heading off to wheel at the Spider Lake ORV area in Minnesota, so until then, good night (it's 1:30am our time) and happy wheeling!

Senior Editor Ken Brubaker:

We began our Wednesday by linking up with Williston, North Dakota 'wheeler Pat Helgeson and members of the Williston-based Cliffhangers 4x4 Club. They came out in force and showed us some North Dakota hospitality. They led us on a stunning private property trail that runs between the Missouri River and Williston. The only thing thicker than the mosquitoes was the stunning scenery. A great bunch of folks, with some very cool rigs. In retrospect, we think they were quite amused at two psycho magazine guys wanting to wheel an H2 on "their" trails. We wish we could've spent more time with them, but the road was demanding our attention, as we had to push east.

We chose to end our day a bit earlier than normal. We found a killer KOA campground in Bismarck, North Dakota that has awesome shaded sites and wireless internet. For once we actually got to set up camp in the daylight. This cool campground gave us the opportunity to cook a leisurely campsite meal and then get caught up on our web blogs.

Tomorrow we enter the state of Minnesota- land of more mosquitoes and more trails. Stay tuned.

Today's notes:

1. Holman has reverted to his infatuation with windshield bugs. Today he shared that he'd like to scrape them off with a spatula and have them analyzed. I'm getting worried about him.

2. The outside of our H2 is utterly filthy, which is the way we like it and we have no intention of washing it. We've found that people who drive filthy H2's get more respect than those who drive spotless H2's with that shiny tire dressing.