Hummer H2 SUT - H2our De Force

June 16, 2005 - Day Seven: Bismarck, ND to St. Paul, MN

Miles: 597
Miles-to-date: 3321
States: 2
Pizza Slices 20-feet High: 1
H3s Seen: 1
Ken's Invitation To Ticks: At Least 1
New Ways To Amuse Ourselves: 2
Funny Looks We Gave Cops: 2
Funny Looks Cops Gave Us: 10

Tech Editor Sean P. Holman:

What a day! Well, a day of driving that is. Its not that the drive from Bismarck, ND to St. Paul, MN was boring, its just that not a whole lot of excitement happened today. Other than the knife fight in the morning, the pot and pan toss, and the race to break camp down we don't have a lot to tell you about, other than the same general level of goofiness Ken and I have to keep ourselves entertained. I think today's long drive to Minnesota had both Ken and I reflecting on this awesome journey, and how we'll look back fondly of this adventure and appreciate the time we spent scouring America's great Northwest for stories on interesting people and good backcountry wheeling.

After breaking down camp at the Bismarck, KOA, which, by the way has another awesome team of people, (KOA must have the friendliest staffs in the world, we have yet to be disappointed) we headed out toward Pine River, MN where we eventually found the Poison Spider ORV area; a very nice forest trail system, whether you ride on two wheels, or four. Just know that this time of year there is not enough Deet or fast-moving H2 windshields in the world to keep the horse-sized mosquitoes and bugs from clamping down and carrying you off to their young. Nothing short of lighting yourself on fire will keep you safe if you plan on stepping outside of your vehicle or wheel open top with a collarless and sleeveless shirt (Ken). After poking around and wheeling for a bit, the setting sun motioned us back to the highway for a rapid run to St. Paul.

Around 9:30pm, we finally arrived at the St. Paul KOA, where the staff stayed late to welcome us as their last guests of the day. They also allowed us late night access to the normally locked game room so that we could upload tonight's blog on their high-speed internet connection. Thanks guys.

Since this is our last night out on the road, I have got to keep this short and head off to some sleep. Tomorrow we'll be setting course for the private Apple Valley off-road park in Wisconsin, before we turn the rig south for our trip's final destination of the Four Wheeler Midwest Bureau in Illinois. We'll post a final blog when we pull in and fill you in on the details of our last boss-excused absence from the office. Thanks for stopping by and happy wheeling!

Senior Editor Ken Brubaker:

Bleary-eyed, we finished our blog upload at 2 a.m. Thursday morning. We shot out of our tents (sort of) early Thursday morning and the Bismarck, North Dakota KOA campground rapidly disappeared into our rearview mirrors as we headed east toward Minnesota. With very little sleep we looked like death warmed over (nothing new there) and within a few miles I had already fallen asleep again. After about 6 hours of driving we arrived at the Spider Lake ORV area in central Minnesota. We were able to find the place with the help of Minnesota `wheeler Lois Campbell who went out of her way to explain to us directionally challenged imbeciles how to find the place. We explored the old logging roads for a while, exiting our H2 only briefly on account of the ridiculously ravenous mosquitoes. We learned that Minnesota is second only to North Dakota for mutant mosquitoes. After a quick tour of the ORV area we again hit the highway. We dropped the hammer to get to the St. Paul, Minnesota KOA campground where we set up camp in the dark (again) and got started on today's blog.

Today's highlight: Holman trying to decide which would be better to eat- the gas station pizza he bought or the dead cat in the road. In the end he opted for neither.

Today's notes:

1.Holman is staging a riot on account of the food. Today he threatened me with a saucepan. Just for that, I'm not going to cook the Spam tacos I had planned.

2. My annual post-Top Truck Challenge poison oak outbreak is in full swing. Perfect. (Yeah, watching him itch just makes me feel bad, well after I chuckle a bit. --Sean)

3. I learned a couple of new things about Holman today. First, he hates ticks. Hence, the woods of Minnesota aren't his cup of tea. Second, he harbors a lot of pent up anger towards Midwest drivers who hog the fast lane. (Ken is obviously not the bastion of observation if he just now noticed these things. I wonder how long it would take him to notice someone stripped to thier skivvies riding on the back of a Zebra. --Sean)

4. Fargo, North Dakota, looks nothing like it did in the movie. What a letdown.