Many of us seem to have had a restless night, staring at the ceiling with amusement-park anticipation over the forthcoming wildlife exposure (uh, the forthcoming opportunity to drive the Jeep). But for one of us (monkey girl), that was immediately replaced by the thought of what would make a better story for Four Wheeler: Death by elephant trampling, or death by wild monkey gnawing at the jugular? It would be nice if it were glamorous in print ... but over quickly. Today we depart Livingstone for Botswana, which will require crossing the border into Namibia.
8:00 a.m.: More than 1,200 words into the story and finally it's time to drive the new Liberty!
8:01 a.m.: Adjust new-and-improved-for-'05 seats, which are better but by no means mistaken for Barcaloungers. Driveline hump/transfer-case bulge resembles two volcanic lava domes ready to spew magma; body placement to compensate causes instant discomfort for both driver and passenger. And, hey, what's that? The fuel filler-door release is on the driver side? Makes sense-except this is a right-hand drive. This vehicle really needs a visit from the ergonomics police.
9:30 a.m.: We are an hour and a half into our testdrive, and have been on a paved road that never strays from straight and narrow. What is the Zulu word for "boring"? Although this road that travels through Kazungula, Sesheke, and Katima Mulilo is new, the Jeep doesn't really like it, tracking with every imperfection in its path. It's also sluggish in this skin, mated to the five-speed automatic. As we head toward the Ngoma border crossing, we pass by village after village, each nothing more than huts made of sticks. No water. No power. No DSL. Nothing has changed since Livingstone was here.
12: 15 p.m.: The day so far has been spent going in and out of border crossings: Zambia, Namibia, Botswana. We would like a Department of Tourism map, but the only freebie handout at immigration is condoms. HIV/AIDS is epidemic here; Botswana has the world's highest rate of infection. Truckers passing through are fingered as the culprits who spread it among the villages, since no one else has a car; beer is also a contributing factor. Plenty of happy, perky highway signs with all the colors from the Crayola box promote safe sex/condom use.
2:15 p.m.: The off-pavement adventure begins! As the caravan drops into Elephant Valley, we hit sand, washboards, ruts, and tight turns. Its size makes the Liberty maneuverable, but the relatively shallow sand swallows it. The turbo lags and bogs, then suddenly slams on, then slams off (the automatic seems to not be the right match for the diesel in these conditions). Wait-is this sand or quicksand we're driving in? As the pedal is mashed and the Liberty tries to not be overcome, we begin to wonder about its "Trail Rated" badge-and the curious fact that tow hooks are not standard equipment in four-by form but rather part of the skidplate group.
3:00 p.m.: Finally, an elephant sighting. The engine is switched off. Thrashing in the bush gets louder, until a large bull elephant moves silently out from cover and begins crossing the road in front of the Jeeps. More elephants follow. They walk with the same quiet purposefulness of the zombies in Night of the Living Dead. Anything that gets in the way becomes salad. Elephants eat 400 to 500 pounds of shrubbery a day, and drop small bales of hay behind them as they go. They trample to death 10 times more vegetation than what is eaten. You do the math: This forest will soon be stubble.
5:40 p.m.: The Jeep tackles a few impressive rockcrawling spots and drop-offs with relative ease, although capability for articulation must have been measured at the chassis rather than at the suspension. Get the Liberty off the sand and it's a happier, more eager 4x4. No locking diff is available, but of course you shouldn't be holding your breath for a Liberty Rubicon.
* Elephant Valley started off as a cattle-grazing area.
* Botswana is slightly smaller than Texas; the locals are Batswana.
* English is the official language, but Setswana is also spoken.
* Namibia borders the South Atlantic Ocean between Angola and South Africa.
* In terms of languages in Namibia, English is 7 percent, 32 percent German, and 60 percent Afrikaans.
* 5,000 diesel Libertys will be produced for Canada and the U.S. combined in 2005.