Today we will return to the Jo'burg airport and head to Livingstone Airport in Zambia. Livingstone town was established circa 1890 and is named for the Scot missionary/doctor who spent about 30 years exploring the continent. His body is buried in England's Westminster Abbey, but he left his heart (and other internal organs) in Africa. Literally.
11:30 a.m.: The journalists board a flight to Zambia. It has been oversold. No problem! Extra passengers stand in the back or are relegated to the toilets. Despite the extra income from overbooking, no one bothered to pay the power bill, so there is no air conditioning to speak of. It's stifling, sticky, cramped, and crowded-all we need is a goat or a chicken to run through the cabin to complete the experience. New Livingstone Airport is impressive; rumor is that the old airport was detonated in filming of Raid on Entebbe. If a sequel is ever made, new airport ought to be considered for detonation too.
2:01 p.m.: Desperate journalists visit the airport bathroom facilities; the previous night's cuisine proves an effective digestive aid. Jerry reports that he has already lost one-third of his total body weight and two dress sizes since last night.
4:30 p.m.: The journalists hike to Victoria Falls, while snorting hippopotami serenade from the Zambezi River. The guide tells the assembled media to stay together, but house cats are easier to herd than journalists. Once we reach the Falls we are all in paralysis mode, overcome by what nature can do. We are told we will soon fly over them in a chopper. The Falls are a bit over a mile in length and more than 300 feet tall. While the Lozi or Barotse tribe refers to them with the "thunder" name, the Matebele call them "the water that rises as smoke." The Victoria Bridge connects Zambia and Zimbabwe, and it was built between 1903 and 1905.
4:32 p.m.: Did I shut my balcony door? Did I actually fail to follow the detailed instructions laid out by Jeep representatives, hotel employees, other travelers, common sense, and women's intuition about how to avoid finding a monkey in my hotel room? And worse yet, how do I get the monkey out of the room? There's no good way to segue from Musi-O-Tunya to monkey-in-ya-rooma. A quiet decision is made to sleep in a Liberty if necessary-if Jerry doesn't believe the lie about how we should trade rooms "because I hate to hog such a spectacular view."
* Zambia got its name in 1964 after it received independence.
* Its currency is kwacha.
* The Zambezi River is more than 1,600 miles long.
* Livingstone discovered Victoria Falls in 1855.
* Victoria Falls is one of the Seven Wonders of the Natural World (Mount Everest and the Grand Canyon are among the others), and it is eroding at a rate of about 14 inches each year.
* The Jeep's trailer weight when equipped with the turbodiesel is 5,000 pounds. (The '05 Grand Cherokee with the 3.7L V-6 is 3,500 pounds.)