2005 Hummer H2 SUT - H2our De Force

8:32 a.m., KOA Campground, North Bend, Oregon: The first thing we see when we emerge from our tents is hundreds of ATVs of all colors. (The first thing I saw when I woke up was Ken, the epitome of a morning person, having a Coke for breakfast.-Sean). Fritz Gross, the owner of the KOA Campground, has heard that we are around, and he stops by our camp to pay a visit and invite us to breakfast-on the house. We're amazed at this cool campground (www.oregonduneskoa.com). Most impressive is that Fritz had the vision to create this campground out of a sand pile. Not only does it offer top-drawer facilities, it also has neat stuff like daily pancake breakfasts in the summer. Most importantly, it's a stone's throw from the Oregon Dunes ORV area.

9:30 a.m., Oregon Dunes National Recreation Area, North Bend, Oregon: We enter the Oregon Dunes National Recreation Area at the Hauser access point, which is just a short jaunt behind the Oregon Dunes KOA campground. Even though it's Saturday morning, we're surprised to see very few ATVs and no four-wheel-drive rigs. We poke each other to see if we're dreaming (Actually, I poked at Sean to wake him up. He isn't exactly Mr. Personality in the morning.---Ken). As we motor the H2 through the deep sand, we see wind-sculpted sand dunes towering in every direction dotted with beautiful woods comprised of Douglas fir and Sitka spruce trees. We also see a number of beautiful lakes and ponds scattered throughout the dunes. The trails to the beach are easily marked, yet Holman chooses to take the H2 down a different path, which winds us deep into the middle of nothingness. Eventually, we pop through a sand dune onto the beach, where we're rewarded with a virtually empty beach bordered by the awesome Pacific Ocean, which Holman had to explain to the landlocked Midwest Bureau Chief Brubaker. We wheel, we gawk, and we leave the H2 in the water too long for photos, and it almost becomes a permanent part of the beach. According to the Forest Service, the Oregon Dunes (which is part of the Siuslaw National Forest) is over 40 miles in length, and about half of that is open to OHVs. A red flag and an Oregon OHV permit are required for entry. We would like to stay longer, but we have to be in Yakima, Washington, by nightfall. We swear we're going to come back some day.

12:40 p.m., somewhere south of Portland, Oregon: Holman offers verbal analysis of windshield bug splatter while driving. When received with blank stare by Brubaker, Sean switches to life story.

2:10 p.m., somewhere east of Portland, Oregon: While driving, Brubaker regales Holman with life story. Holman falls asleep (again).

7:30 p.m., KOA Campground, Yakima, Washington: One of our lightest days of travel logs only 443.1 miles on our H2's odometer. Because every move we make seems to be carefully watched by other campers, we try to set up camp deftly, so as not to look like idiots. Most campers seem to be stunned by the sight of two guys showing up in a Hummer that's packed full of camping gear. Holman decides that each night, camp setup should be a timed event. Brubaker groans. We're quickly becoming huge fans of the battery-operated Coleman QuickPump, as it allows us to inflate each of our Coleman air mattresses in less than a minute. After much contemplation of zipper mechanisms, Brubaker has managed to zip two Coleman Colossal sleeping bags together to create a more pleasant sleeping environment for his big frame. (Hey, I'm not a skinny runt.-Ken). He's very proud of this achievement. Holman is annoyed with this development because Brubaker refuses to unzip them before packing them in the H2. Instead, Brubaker just jams them into the back seat of the H2, hogging valuable space. Holman has begun calling this seemingly growing fabric the Mega Blanket, and he'd like to see it go away. This is the first undercurrent of discontent among our happy campers.

10:00 p.m., Seattle's Best Coffee Shop, Yakima, Washington: We're getting kicked out because it's closing time. We're bummed because we're not done uploading our blog for the day. On the upside, while pretending to work we met Four Wheeler reader Ryan Clifton, owner of a '79 GMC 4x4 pickup. He's from Yakima and loves stickers.