cheap Truck Challenge - toyota Pickup In Mud Hole - Photo 38114972

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Pewe drove the mud pit like any skilled desert rat would, but skirted the side to keep the Toyota from swimming. Unfortunately this didn’t earn him a win in the mud category because everyone knows that big action wins in the mud.

If you go strictly by the costs involved, the winner has to be the Suburban. Williams brought it home for just $1,300 and spent $2,012 in upgrades, for a grand total of $3,312.

The Bronco team actually didn’t spend any more overall than Williams did, so they are a close second. They made the decision to buy a 4x4 already modified and went $488 over budget to purchase the truck, spending $2,500. But then they only spent $812 for upgrades. If they were that hypothetical kid working a summer job, they wouldn’t have had enough money to buy the truck until the second summer.

The Toyota may have been cheap to buy at $1,500 and to own with its economical engine, but Pewe went over budget by spending $3,063.83 on upgrades. The mods were all great and made it work awesome, but that high-roller Wall Street spending defies the reality of all those burger-flipping, lawn-mowing, pizza-delivering kids out there trying to get into a thrifty thrasher trail basher.

Our off-road judges were four driving instructors from Land Rover. Arriving in a beautiful Range Rover and Defender 90, these guys have vast knowledge from multiple Camel Trophy experiences as well as teaching driving skills to both new Rover owners and the military’s Special Forces. Though we’re pretty sure the combined value of all our vehicles is less than half of one of their 4x4s they didn’t seem to mind and even threatened to attend a future event with a low-buck Rover for the heck of it.

After four races it was apparent that the Bronco was the fastest, but only when it would run right. Carburetor problems left the Bronco on the starting line twice, whereas the Toyota didn’t miss a beat and just barely edged out the big boat of a ’Burban. However, in the final race, when the Bronco team discovered that a neutral-drop start was the key to winning, the Bronco whooped up, followed closely by the Suburban. Results: Bronco, two First Places and two DNFs; Toyota, two Firsts and two Thirds; Suburban, consistently Second.

Next was the crawl race. This involved putting each truck in its lowest gear and letting it idle across the pasture. The Toyota again took the lead by being slowest, thanks to Marlin Crawler low gearing. The Suburban’s SM-465’s granny First gear and NP-208 crept in second slowest—so slow that Pewe and Williams didn’t even bother sitting in the driver seat. The Bronco boys argued that no 17-year-old kid would care about going slow and that this test was dumb.

Each driver had to start the race sitting outside his vehicle, and Freiburger hopped in through the door-less Bronco for a time-saving start. He was able to float quickly across the rocky section and up the small hillclimbs. Unfortunately the Bronco’s high speed must have resulted in a branch puncturing the milk jug on the hood, as Freiburger crossed the line with a severe leak and the lowest milk level.

The Toyota, with Pewe behind the wheel, was not exactly smooth across the course. He was in quick and away smoothly, but his little truck just didn’t have the go-juice or compliant suspension needed for a fast time. Pewe also thought that having two half-gallon milk jugs would help him win, but it just resulted in two openings for milk to escape.

Williams’ seatbelt in his Suburban jammed, and he lost precious seconds on the start line before he could get away. Time lost could give the authorities ample opportunity to catch a license plate number and call your parents, hypothetically. Once he was buckled up and on course, the Burb made short work of everything in its path. Williams didn’t seem to realize his front axle was only a 10-bolt as he launched up small hills and throttled off ledges back into the rocky riverbed. Amazingly with such an abusive run, he was able to preserve the most milk, obviously having retained some dairyman skills from growing up on a farm.

Pewe drove the mud pit like any skilled desert rat would, but skirted the side to keep the Toyota from swimming. Unfortunately this didn’t earn him a win in the mud category because everyone knows that big action wins in the mud.

You’d think he would rest on his success, but every kid knows that if you make it once you have to try again. Sure enough, Williams’ second run stalled out the engine. Cooler heads prevailed before he could try to crank it over, and they drug it out by a strap and pulled some spark plugs. A fair bit of swamp water was pumped out of the cylinders and a fresh air filter installed before the TBI 350 was happily purring again.

Freiburger wrapped himself in a tarp trying to stay clean and dry, earning himself a tie for last with Pewe in the mud. Though he did hit the hole at a better clip, resulting in a slightly weaker splash, he came out too clean. If you bring an open-topped rig to the mud pit you better end up dirty.

A Suburban is the last truck you’d expect to see hucking off a dune, but Williams apparently hadn’t been told, and sure enough, he launched the monster. It landed hard, sending everything in the back—cooler, toolbags, tow straps—into a giant sloppy mess.

Pewe wound up the squirrels in his little Toy and threw sand with ease, but when we lined up for the long jump his common sense outweighed his pride and he kept the Toy just a few feet off the ground.

Then Finnegan lined up and performed a spectacle of flight the Wright Brothers would have been jealous of. The Bronco bucked and landed with enough force to send the rearview mirror sailing off the windshield. Nothing makes grown men giggle like watching the abuse of motorized vehicles, and when you run the math of cost per chuckle the Bronco earned the trophy and its wings in the sand.

With the day finished, judges and competitors retired to a campfire, where lies about the greatness of each other’s trucks were told over fried chicken and frosty brews. Luckily no one had to run for his truck and try to escape the authorities as the moon rose that night.