If you are like us, you get pretty tired of overly bold, fully committed statements that are freely tossed around in modern everyday conversation. We mean the ones using the words “best ever, fastest ever, coolest ever” and things like that. For example, we frequently see and hear “The biggest sale ever!” from the TV commercial sales-pitch expert, hocking pressed-garbage furniture. “This is my favorite song evar!” from the dizzy high school junior rocking out to ’N Sync’s latest hit. “This is the best American Idol show ever.” From Ryan Seacrest—we mean, let’s be honest Mr. Seacrest, you haven’t seen Verne sing “Old McDonald” yet.
It seems like all these folks don’t understand that by including “best ever” in their statements, they inadvertently mean that not only was that the best “whatever” yet, but it will also be better than any “whatevers” to come. That’s kind of a letdown, huh? Is everything from here on out gonna pale in comparison to what already happened? Poop.
Seriously though, we feel that Moab might be the bestest off-road area in the world—ever! (Well in all honesty, there might be another better off-road area somewhere, someday, but it’s hard to imagine; Mars looks like a great prospect.)
Every year the Jp staff looks forward with baited breath for Easter Jeep Safari in Moab, Utah; in fact, we were frantically rushing this way and that with camera in hand. Check out some of our favorite trails, Moab’s hidden and little-known secret spots, and maybe even a few of Jp’s favorite social areas and eateries. Wanna join in the melee? Get in touch with Red Rock 4-Wheelers (rr4w.com) for more info about EJS 2013. You’d be safe to bet that we will be there in 2013 barring any unexpected zombie apocalypse or issues with the Mayan calendar. Let’s hope not. We have wheeling to do.
Jp Magazine’s Favorite Moab Jeep Trails
Wanna wheel with Christian, Pete, and Verne? If we are in Moab and out on the trails, chances are that we will be giddy with excitement on one of the following trails. Don’t get us wrong, all the trails in Moab are awesome, but these are some of our favorites—some are harder, some are easier, all are fun!
Hell’s Revenge is the most iconic Jeep trail in Moab. Home to The Escalator, The Car Wash, Mickey’s Hot Tub, Tip-Over Challenge, and don’t forget to hit Hell’s Gate near the Overlook. If “Lake Michigan” (it’s the unofficial name of the pool of water that occasionally collects behind what used to be Dump Bump) has water in it, stay right. By the way, this trail is stupid-scary with ice or snow on the rocks. Ask us how we know.
The Poison Spider Mesa trail affords amazing views and plenty of obstacles to keep all Jeepers happy. You can just go up the face to the top and back down, or go all the way through to Golden Spike for a long ride.
Pritchet Canyon’s Steep off-camber climbs test you and your Jeep—lots of technical stuff to keep you focused and to test your Jeep’s capability.
The Golden Spike trail features the often photographed Golden Crack, Double Whammy, and tons of other obstacles, climbs, and descents. Fun for a full day’s ride, running the whole trail start-to-finish is a blast.
Kane Creek has tons of water crossings, shade, and fun obstacles to play in or on. Look for the old Willys Wagon that fell off a cliff on the trail many years back near the bridge on the quad/bike/motorbike trail.
Cliff Hanger is close to town and gets started quickly. This trail is an out-and-back trail, so you get to do everything twice.
Often Overlooked Moab Attractions
Fins N Things: Just up Sand Flats road from Hell’s Revenge and the Slickrock bike trail, Fins N Things is an often-overlooked trail that has some cool climbs and amazing vistas. It’s fun ‘n’ stuff.
Moab Dunes: South of town and down the road on the opposite side of Area BFE’s entrance from Hwy 191 (west on Behind the Rocks road) is a small assemblage of red sand dunes that are fun to play in.
LaSalle Mountains: If you are in Moab—and you can see—you have seen the LaSalle Mountains southeast of Moab. There are paved roads, dirt roads, and off-road trails (like the LaSalle pass) that go up in elevation. Get out of the heat of Moab in summer and gain some elevation. Look out for snow. It can be deep
Long Canyon Trail: OK, so Long Canyon Trail is definitely an easy trail (good for a stock 4WD Jeep), but it’s still very cool. There is great geology near the Colorado River at the end of the trail—also amazing vistas as you go up (or down) the trail. Look for bighorn sheep and enjoy driving under the huge fallen rock that goes just over the trail part way up.
Slickrock Bike Trail and Hiking Trails Near Moab: Like the outdoors, have a mountain bike, like hiking, and or rock climbing? Moab is also one of the “best evar” spots for all of these things. Also look for petroglyphs all over the Moab area. These ancient drawings are evidence of the first vacationers in Moab. Please don’t add your own.
Moab Rock Shop: Has enough rocks, minerals and fossils to fill out any rock hound’s collection. We can wander around the rock shop for hours on end. Geology is the reason that there are Jeep trails in Moab. Trust us. A little knowledge of geology opens up a whole new world of the history of the area. Petrified dunes, ripple marks, dinosaur footprints—geologic wonders abound.
Walker Drug: Enough candy, cool camping gear, off-the-wall trinkets, widgets, and gizmos to keep our short attention span occupied. You can find what you need and what you don’t even know you want at Moab’s Walker Drug. If that wasn’t enough, during EJS Chrysler usually sets up its uber-cool concept vehicle and Mopar display area in Walker Drug’s parking lot.
Museum of Moab: With the history of Moab, mining, Native Americans, and southern Utah well before humans, the Museum of Moab (one block east on Center St.) is worth a visit. Now you know why Moab is there.
Seeking Sustenance in Moab?
Moab Brewery: Micro-brew beer and good food. This is “the” place to get dinner and meet up with fellow Jeepers after a great day wheeling. Be ready to wait for a table during EJS.
The Blu Pig Bar-B-Que: Need we say more? The new kid on the block, but good.
Moab Diner: Great green chili and great breakfast. Try the green chili omelet. Ice cream is also available to help cool down after a hot day on the trail.
Milt’s Stop and Eat: Great burgers, shakes and malts! Get there by 11:30 a.m. or be ready to wait.
Moab Chevron: Just south of La Quinta east of Hwy 191. Gas up and grab a fresh made breakfast burrito with hash browns, bacon and eggs. Drool. Also picnic lunches ready to go in bags with yummy cookies for the trail and epic fried chickens.
Sunset Grill: Amazing views of North Moab. There is also a nice old CJ-2A just outside the restaurant to ogle before or after eats.
Fiesta Mexicana: Muy bueno! Good Mexican food in Moab.