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Off-Road Jesus - WWJD? - Straight From The Boss Man

Posted in Features on June 1, 2003 Comment (0)
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Off-Road Jesus - WWJD? - Straight From The Boss Man

The media as a whole have received a bad rap over the years. In many cases, deservedly so. But as I get older and the world seems to get wackier, I am less and less surprised at what makes headlines. Is the media to blame for merely reporting what's going on, or are we maligning the messenger of bad news?

A good case in point is the flap over WWJD. Most Christians will recognize this arrangement of letters to stand for What would Jesus do? Many Christians wear a bracelet or chain bearing these initials to remind them to think about their actions before doing something stupid or sinful. However, a handful of Bible-thumpers with an axe to grind against SUVs and automotive pollution in general have modified these familiar letters to stand for What would Jesus drive?

The What would Jesus drive? controversy hit the papers a few months back and was even the subject of a handful of editorials across the country. Before anyone sets fire to this issue or labels me a religious heretic, I have to remind you truth is often stranger than fiction. Even I couldn't make up something as ludicrous as this.

According to published reports, a band of semi-well-meaning church folk, from such legitimate groups at the Council of Churches and Evangelical Environmental Network, apparently made a pilgrimage to Detroit to preach against the most evil of all evil: gas-guzzling SUVs. Reportedly, the groups were attempting to open up some sort of dialogue with Detroit on the subject. But in the process, someone posed the absurd question, What would Jesus drive?

Their environmentally correct answer was, of course, not an SUV. Obviously, that's the chariot of the devil. The hidden agenda, and answer to such a loaded question, was some sort of eco-machine, like the electrical car GM just killed. This leaves the Japanese manufacturers as the only source of electric, environmentally friendly machines.

So why was the clergy in Detroit in the first place? The whole concept of even associating religion and the automobile industry is insane, but taking it a step farther by asking What would Jesus drive? Give me a break. This is the worst publicity stunt I've ever heard of, and anyone who was ever raised in a Christian faith knows God is everywhere, and therefore doesn't need a car.

However, in an attempt to humor the religious protagonists who propose such a ludicrous question, I have conducted an informal poll of friends and coworkers who have offered the following answers to the question as to what would Jesus drive.

- "Naturally a limo. Such an important personal would have an apostle drive, and he would ride in the back."

- "Since bumper-to-bumper traffic is the tool of the devil, Jesus would arrive by helicopter."

- "If Captain Kirk and Spock can be transported anywhere, anytime, Jesus doesn't need no stinkin' car."

- "Isn't the Popemobile a two-seater? He could carpool."

As for my opinion, I have to agree with AutoWeek Publisher Rich Ceppos who joined the ranks of many to comment on the issue. Because Jesus by nature is a higher power, then he naturally belongs in a powerful, high-profile vehicle. My bet would be a Z-O6 Corvette, or even better, an H2.

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