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Rant Editorial - British Chieftain Tank

Posted in Features on July 1, 2012
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A couple friends of mine recently bought a tank—a British tank called a Chieftain that was used as recently as Operation Desert Storm in the early ’90s.

Right about now, you may be asking yourself, “What in the world would I ever need a tank for?”

If so, then you, sir, are not a tank owner.

A tank isn’t something bought out of necessity (at least, hopefully not); a tank is a luxury—like an Aston Martin. Think of this tank as a British exotic vehicle that just needs to be registered with the local authorities. Oh, and that can’t be driven on city streets unless there’s one heck of a parade going on.

I think the real question you may need to ask yourself is, “What wouldn’t I do with a tank?”

If I owned one, I think most of my plans in life would be “…whatever I’m doing, plus the tank.” And then I’d have to reason with myself why incorporating the tank into whatever plan might not be a good idea.

But just think of what you could do with a tank! Not only would you be set if Armageddon comes, but it would take your off-roading to a whole new level. Plus, think of how useful a tank could be: super industrial-sized can opener, car crusher at the local junkyard, tree-stump puller, ultimate recovery vehicle, home remodeling…. (Oh, and if your plans call for world domination, then forget it; all cannons are cut and rewelded to make it impossible to fire before a tank is decommissioned and sold to the public.)

If nothing else, there is no other entry piece that makes a statement like a tank. And it has to be way more effective than any “Private Property, Keep Out” sign.

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