June 14, 2005 - Day 5: Kalispell, MT to Williston, ND
Miles: 1080
Miles-to-date: 2472
States: 2
Gas Stops: 3
Rest Stops: 4
Hygiene-deprived Locals: Thousands
Deer Avoided: 3
Critters Too Close To 35" BFG A/Ts: 2
Meals With French Fries: 1
Tech Editor Sean P. Holman:
Wow, a whole day has gone by with no new updates! Were you worried that we tossed eachother off a cliff (rest assured, as amazing as it sounds and after locking ourselves in an H2 for nearly 2500-miles, we are still the best of friends!), got eaten by grumpy Grizzly bears, attacked by poo-throwing Forest Monkeys? Go ahead, tell us you missed us, like you miss your cup of coffee in the morning, right? We know you are probably in need of your Ken and Sean fix, so here we are back up and blogging. Turns out that there aren't really many places in Montana that offer internet, let alone high speed, so we took the night off for some much needed rest in Kalispell, MT.
After a somewhat relaxing evening, we were reenergized for the day's big destination, Glacier National Park. This was probably the one part of the trip Ken and I were both looking forward to the most, and since neither of us had ever visited it before, and it did not disappoint. Higher elevations were still covered in several feet of snow, while summer runoff created raging rivers and majestic waterfalls. Everywhere we looked was amazing and green, well except for when it was amazing and white. Even more amazing was thinking about the explorers who first surveyed the park by foot. For $20 a car, you can't beat the day of history and beauty that Glacier National Park offers.
Our next goal for the day was reaching the McClelland Ferry before sunset. The ferry offers a free trip across the Missouri River for anyone who arrives in daylight hours between April and October. In order to get there, we had to go through such prime examples of towns most likely to end up in a horror flick as Cut Bank, MT. Okay, so maybe that wasn't exactly a representative slice of Middle America, but we were scared just the same, oh so very scared.
With several hours to go and the sun sinking in the sky we pinned the skinny pedal of the H2 and moved some serious air out of our way, and had enough insects collected on the windshield of our H2 to make an entomologist jealous. One thing you can count on is if a map says "free ferry" anywhere near the route Ken and I are taking on a cross-country trip, we are there, man. We are so there. And if you ever do decide to follow in our footsteps, along the 80 miles of country back roads through the cattle ranges and ranches that eventually lead to the ferry you will come across a lone bar in Cleveland, MT with a real honest to God hitching post out front. Sometimes you'll get lucky like us and see 'ol Buck and Chief tied up there. If you have a few minutes, stop in and say hi to the kind folks who run the bar, they seem to enjoy the company of visitors - at least they didn't protest when Ken and I walked in.
Continuing on the road to the ferry, its was clear to see what the locals had already confirmed, it is nearly impassable in rain, due to the slime-like mud that sits on top of the hard-packed surface. This mud turns to a fine powder when dry and makes for some exciting driving maneuvers. For quick travel along this road, rally car experience is recommended. On a side note, the H2 is no rally car, but it handles predictably when loaded up and recovers quite well from drifting sideways around corners. Just ask Ken.
After some exciting driving and a nicely muddied exterior, we reached the Missouri River and met a colorful character of woman by the name of Grace Sanford. She runs the ferry and if you want to get across, you better make friends quick. Petting her dog Scabby or interrupting CSI will not get your name added to the "A" list of river crossers, but sharing some good stories and asking about the old days will. By the way, she is a hoot to talk to and the dry humor she'll spit your way is alone, well worth the treacherous drive to the ferry crossing.
It was only after crossing the Mighty Missouri that we realized what a huge state Montana is. I mean really huge, and the further east you go, the less there is. Don't get me wrong, the scenery is spectacular and after spending a day driving the width of it, I now know why they call it Big Sky Country. The problem is that when you are trying to find places to park yourself for the night for uploads, or outrun a huge storm, your best option is to keep driving - or else tempt the wrath of some rancher's double-barrel in front of his double-wide. So keep driving we did, well in to the wee hours of the morning, which placed us as participants in the dangerous game of Deer Slaloming. After a few close calls we pushed back the shadows of the night a little further with our Hummer Genuine Accessory roof-mounted lights and were able to pick out those darting little ba$t@rd$ far before they had a chance to ruin this adventure. We finally pulled in to Williston, ND at 4 a.m. and caught some Zs until mid morning when it was time to meet up with the local Cliffhangers four-wheel drive club.
Props go out to Hummer and its H2, which has performed flawlessly through everything we have thrown its way. The H2 is comfortable enough to get the two of us and our gear through this 1000-plus mile day and live to not only tell the tale, but want to hop back in it after a few hours of sleep and ask for more.
Senior Editor Ken Brubaker:
Glacier National Park was cool, but all the roads were blacktop. With that said, we beat feet out of there and headed east on Highway 2 to Chinook. Once in Chinook we dropped south on Highway 240 and then onto a crappy dirt road that would carry us 80 miles into absolute nothingness before it ended at the banks of the Missouri River and the two-car McClelland Ferry (get your atlas out, it's easy to find). I can honestly say that driving this rutted, closed-whenever-it-rains dirt road was one of the coolest things I've ever done. No cell service, no radio stations, no nothing. Just miles on miles of spectacular Montana scenery. If something happens to your rig out here, you're on your own, baby. Come to think of it, Holman could've disappeared out there and no one would have ever known what happened to him (Umm, Ken, I am the one uploading the stories, think I wouldn't see this one? Hope you sleep with one eye open buddy! --Sean).
Once at the ferry, the ferry operator (a 60-ish woman wearing a floral print dress and green clogs) shot out of the back door of her home like a bullet out of a rifle, hopped on an ATV and flew down to the bank of the river where we were waiting. She then proceeded to verbally ream Holman for petting her dog, followed quickly by a rash of complaints regarding the wandering free-range cattle. She then reamed both of us for intruding on her television watching. She softened up when it came time for us to go, however. She probably realized that we're probably the only people she'll see for a few days. (Uhh, Brubaker wrote that, haunt him, not me. --Sean)
Today's notes:
1. We met another Four Wheeler reader! On top of Logan Pass in Glacier National Park we met Steve Lund from Council Bluffs, Iowa. He drives an '89 Suburban, and we're pretty sure he thought we were crazy!
2. All of the hundred of thousands of acres of land in Montana and the deer choose to congregate on Highway 87 between Lewistown and Williston, North Dakota
3. We're pretty sure the residents of tiny Winifred, Montana have never seen an H2 SUT.
4. We're pretty sure that there must be a serious shortage of dentists in Cut Bank, Montana.
5. Holman didn't bring up windshield bugs for almost a full day. This is a major achievement.
VIDEO introduction
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6
Day 7
Day 8
Day 9