I’ve told you guys time and again to make sure your wires can’t be damaged by your Jeeps. I hope you listened to me better than Trasborg did, because he just made wire pancakes.
It’s like that time I had this shark stuff put in me (Editor’s note: shark adrenaline), and it made me all angry and stuff. All I wanted to do was flatten everything—kind of like pancakes. I wanted to make pancakes out of everything and everyone. Even when I’m not mad, I like pancakes. I even went to Joy and threatened to make her a pancake unless she gave me back all the toys from the claw game. I was so mad I took back a toy from Earl, Jr. too. That’s kind of what made it so sad, I didn’t want to make Earl, Jr. into a pancake, but I sure acted like I did.
So you can see why when Trasborg made wire pancakes, I was kind of angry. His excuse was that the ARB fridge slide didn’t provide a way to keep the wires out from under the wheels. I don’t see how he thinks that is a good excuse. And even if it wasn’t a fridge thing, I mean a fridge slide in a Jeep? How often does this guy move appliances? The point is that if you have a wire that might get caught by a moving part, make sure to keep it out of the way. If you knew about it, fix it. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Kind of like that time I found out my first love, Pinky, was really Joy.
I didn’t want to make her into a pancake anymore, but she was still pretty mean to me—and then I find out she’s the first girl I loved? I was crushed. Not pancake crushed, but I was really sad. Well, that is kind of my point. If Trasborg had listened to anything I ever said, he’d have not run those wires over. And if you run wires over while you are out on the trail and kill something that you need, you might be crushed too. Mmm, pancakes.
OK, I love pancakes with lots of syrup, but I know how it can be when something breaks on you all of a sudden. It hurts. But I know how bad it hurts because it happens to me all the time—so I know how to fix it when it happens. So, if it happens to you, just follow these simple steps. It might not be as good as pancakes and syrup, but it can get you going again.