As it turns out, our nearly dead battery wasn’t too happy being hooked up to the shop charger on the high amperage setting. We thought for sure the battery was dead, but we later tested it, and it came out just fine. Once it was charged, the tech decided just to try to swap coils again. The Jeep fired right up. It turns out we had not one, but two bad coils, both of which died from sitting and doing nothing. We still aren’t sure how that is possible.