Unconventional Jeep Activities
Getting bored of driving your Jeep down the road? Finding off-roading to be mundane and usual? Here are a few activities you can try with your best friend: your Jeep (it’s a car, loser)! Please note: Some of these activities are stupid and may cause injury, death, mayhem, and destruction. We are not responsible for you, your Jeep, or innocent bystanders.
1. Take Your Dirty Jeep to a Car Show and Encourage Touching
Are you a car nut as well as a Jeep nut? Well we are, and damn it we are tired of having our patina’d, scratched, dented, and dirty rigs scoffed at by shiny, cloth-diaper-wielding car show snobs. Well, we herewith encourage you to take your Jeep to any and all unofficial car shows you’d like to (the official car shows may want an entrance fee better spent on Jeep parts). Just don’t park your Jeep too close to someone’s expensive, pampered hot rod, or it may fall apart, and you might get stabbed. We also hate those snotty “look but don’t touch” placards posted on some show cars. Since no one is gonna mess up our paint more than we will, we encourage touching Piggy the Pig Truck at the car show down the road. We actually found another Jeep to park next to! Thanks Pat, it was nice meeting you!
2. Remote-Control Your Jeep
If the economy has you really down, there is a way to get into Jeeping at a fraction of the cost of even a rust-bucket, half-built, pile of a Jeep. OK, it’s not quite the same, but there are commercially available 1⁄10-scale Lexan bodies that one-hell-of-a-lot look like miniature versions of your favorite TJ, JK, XJ, and even MJ. All you need is an RC rockcrawler (like one from Tamiya, Axial, or HPI), some electronics (a radio, speed control, a steering servo, battery, and charger), and one of these scale bodies of your choice. Paint it up just like your 1:1 Jeep (or the Jeep you used to own before the economy went belly up) and have a ball. You can now wheel your backyard, local hiking trail, or creek with impunity for less than $300. Caution: It can get expensive if you have to have all the hot little miniature gizmos, billet beadlocks, and scale tires. But hey, if you roll it, all you need is the old 10½ to right it; no harm, no foul. Or, if you’re smarter than we are, figure out how to remote-control your real Jeep…and send us video!
3. Zombie Apocalypse-ize/Road Warrior-ize Your Jeep
Yeah, neither you nor we know exactly when that comet is going to pass within a few miles of earth and cause the dead to rise in search of fresh brains, but it’s inevitable, folks—so you’d better get ready. Some stockpile guns, ammo, or learn Inuit-frozen-street-fighting in preparation. We suggest sharpening spikes for your Jeep’s wheels, using expanded metal to make wire screens to protect the glass, and fabricating hood-mounted gun mounts and rooftop portholes for easy blasting of those neuron-craving, undead psychos. You know you need to prep for this. If it all turns out to be a false alarm, don’t be sad; everyone loves Road Warrior-themed vehicles.
4. Bolt Prius Parts to Your Jeep’s Bumper
Back in the ’00s, all the lowly editorial staff of Jp lived on the hard streets of Los Angeles. The commute to the office on Wilshire Blvd. was long and arduous for most of us. During this time we developed a plan to keep those punk-ass California drivers with expensive, bank-owned punk cars from changing lanes into our braking space. Simply buy a slightly beat-up front fender from a BMW and use some sheetmetal screws to attach it to your front bumper. Now snobby L.A. guy will think twice before pulling out in front of a vehicle that clearly rams Bavarian Manure Wagons for sport. Don’t like Priuses? Need we spell out the formula again?
5. Jeep Planter/Lawn Ornament
We 100 percent guarantee your neighbors are gonna love this one! Honestly, if you are a real Jeep freak, then you should know by now that your neighbors think you are certifiably insane. So why not poke at their wounds by building a Jeep-themed planter for the front yard? Even if the HOA sends you a nasty letter, if you time it carefully you can recycle your planter as parts for one of your projects before they start fining you. Here we used part of a Rio Grande edition YJ for a planter. Have a beat-up, old, flattie tub? Fill it with soil and plant some begonias…whatever they are.