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Best of Whoops!

Posted in Project Vehicles on April 1, 2001
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Photographers: Readers of 4-Wheel & Off-Road
<p>  <b>Who:</b> Josh Alford  <b>Where: </b>Fort Hood, TX  <b>What:</b> Chevy S-10  <b>Why: </b>A flash flood and an S-10 that can&#146;t swim  <b>Wallflower:</b> All the good-looking S-10s swam upstream to mate. This little piggy stayed home.

Who: Josh Alford Where: Fort Hood, TX What: Chevy S-10 Why: A flash flood and an S-10 that can’t swim Wallflower: All the good-looking S-10s swam upstream to mate. This little piggy stayed home.

<p><b>Who:</b> Jason Elder   <b>Where: </b>Dittmer, MO  <b>What:</b> &#146;78 F-150  <b>Why:</b> Good &#146;ol redneck mud whompin&#146;  <b>The price: </b>Gonna have to see if those 1/2-ton axles can stand up to 44s since the 39.5s aren&#146;t doing it.

Who: Jason Elder Where: Dittmer, MO What: ’78 F-150 Why: Good ’ol redneck mud whompin’ The price: Gonna have to see if those 1/2-ton axles can stand up to 44s since the 39.5s aren’t doing it.

<p><b>Who:</b> Mark Hedspeth  <b>Where: </b>Fresno, CA  <b>What: </b>CJ-7 Aquarium Jeep  <b>Why: </b>Jeeps don&#146;t float for long.  <b>Herbalist:</b> A water and oil enema always brings out a big smile.

Who: Mark Hedspeth Where: Fresno, CA What: CJ-7 Aquarium Jeep Why: Jeeps don’t float for long. Herbalist: A water and oil enema always brings out a big smile.

<p><b>Who:</b> Damien Aube  <b>Where:</b> Hinesburg, VT  <b>What: </b>Jeep Cherokee Hot Pocket  <b>Why: </b>The ranger said all campfires must be in a metal container above the ground.  <b>Mel Torm&#233;: </b>We&#146;ve heard of chestnuts roasting and all, but come on.

Who: Damien Aube Where: Hinesburg, VT What: Jeep Cherokee Hot Pocket Why: The ranger said all campfires must be in a metal container above the ground. Mel Tormé: We’ve heard of chestnuts roasting and all, but come on.

<p><b>Who:</b> Larry Mansfield  <b>Where: </b>Porterfield, WI  <b>What:</b> Ford F-250  <b>Why:</b> He says, &#147;too much gas, not enough Bud Light.&#148; We&#146;re guessing there was plenty of both.  <b>Plan 9 from Green Bay: </b>Here&#146;s the gratuitous alien encounter shot. Hope the probe didn&#146;t hurt too much.

Who: Larry Mansfield Where: Porterfield, WI What: Ford F-250 Why: He says, “too much gas, not enough Bud Light.” We’re guessing there was plenty of both. Plan 9 from Green Bay: Here’s the gratuitous alien encounter shot. Hope the probe didn’t hurt too much.

<p><b>Who:</b> Boyd Hopkins  <b>Where: </b>Fillmore, CA  <b>What: </b>Scout  <b>Why:</b> Bald tires and no winch point  <b>Eternal optimist:</b> Hold on, honey, just a few passes with the grooving iron and we&#146;ll be good to go.

Who: Boyd Hopkins Where: Fillmore, CA What: Scout Why: Bald tires and no winch point Eternal optimist: Hold on, honey, just a few passes with the grooving iron and we’ll be good to go.

<p><b>Who:</b> Richard Drake  <b>Where: </b>Phoenix, AZ  <b>What:</b> &#146;78 Chevy Crew Cab Dualie  <b>Why: </b>Street tires + sticky mud = using your Crew Cab as a hotel for the night.  <b>The irony:</b> Of all the places to get stuck in a mud hole, Arizona has to be the best.

Who: Richard Drake Where: Phoenix, AZ What: ’78 Chevy Crew Cab Dualie Why: Street tires + sticky mud = using your Crew Cab as a hotel for the night. The irony: Of all the places to get stuck in a mud hole, Arizona has to be the best.

<p><b>Who:</b> Rob Wachs  <b>Where: </b>Bunola, PA  <b>What: </b>Scout II  <b>Why:</b> Showin&#146; off for the ladies  <b>Possum: </b>In a purely defensive move, the modified Scout will play dead until the stock aggressor retreats.

Who: Rob Wachs Where: Bunola, PA What: Scout II Why: Showin’ off for the ladies Possum: In a purely defensive move, the modified Scout will play dead until the stock aggressor retreats.

<p><b>Who:</b> Mark Keim  <b>Where: </b>Covelo, CA  <b>What: </b>Max-stealth Toyota  <b>Why: </b>Fixing a leaky pond (hey, that&#146;s what he said)  <b>Marlin Perkins:</b> The Toyotas of the Serengeti use the tall grass to sneak up close to their prey.

Who: Mark Keim Where: Covelo, CA What: Max-stealth Toyota Why: Fixing a leaky pond (hey, that’s what he said) Marlin Perkins: The Toyotas of the Serengeti use the tall grass to sneak up close to their prey.

<p><b>Who:</b> Ben Majewski  <b>Where: </b>Woodinville, WA  <b>What: </b>&#146;70 Toyota FJ-55  <b>Why: </b>We&#146;re guessing it was a slow Fourth of July.  <b>Huh?:</b> Is it an FJ-55 or the world&#146;s biggest pond leech?

Who: Ben Majewski Where: Woodinville, WA What: ’70 Toyota FJ-55 Why: We’re guessing it was a slow Fourth of July. Huh?: Is it an FJ-55 or the world’s biggest pond leech?

<p><b>Who:</b>Bryan Poupore  <b>Where: </b>Lady Lake, FL  <b>What:</b> Dodge Power Wagon  <b>Why:</b> Dumb-ass buddy dare  <b>Stinky?: </b>Geez, that sure looks like one giant steaming cow pie.

Who:Bryan Poupore Where: Lady Lake, FL What: Dodge Power Wagon Why: Dumb-ass buddy dare Stinky?: Geez, that sure looks like one giant steaming cow pie.

<p><b>Who: </b>Gary Babin  <b>Where: </b>Somerset, NJ  <b>What: </b>Peter Pan Toyota  <b>Why: </b>He&#146;s totaled it three times. That may explain his animosity towards the DMV.  <b>Sweet: </b>You know that fireman is thinking, &#147;Dumb ass!&#148;

Who: Gary Babin Where: Somerset, NJ What: Peter Pan Toyota Why: He’s totaled it three times. That may explain his animosity towards the DMV. Sweet: You know that fireman is thinking, “Dumb ass!”

<p><b>Who: </b>Pete Weber  <b>Where: </b>Clovis, CA  <b>What: </b>Big &#146;ol honkin&#146; Kenworth  <b>Why: </b>No idea&#151;photo courtesy of driveby Samaritan.  <b>Jerry Reed: </b>Eastbound and&#133; down.

Who: Pete Weber Where: Clovis, CA What: Big ’ol honkin’ Kenworth Why: No idea—photo courtesy of driveby Samaritan. Jerry Reed: Eastbound and… down.

<p><b>Who: </b>Chuck Patton  <b>Where:</b> Ash Fork, AZ  <b>What:</b> Jeep Cherokee Hang Glider  <b>Why:</b> No better way to transport Grandma&#146;s dishes.  <b>Logic:</b> &#147;You mean you still have to stay awake with cruise control?&#148;

Who: Chuck Patton Where: Ash Fork, AZ What: Jeep Cherokee Hang Glider Why: No better way to transport Grandma’s dishes. Logic: “You mean you still have to stay awake with cruise control?”

<p><b>Who:</b> Vince A. Marquez  <b>Where: </b>Las Vegas, NM  <b>What:</b> &#146;63 Scout  <b>Why: </b>He wrote, &#147;I have killed several Scouts trying to cross the Canadian River here in New Mexico. Does anybody have any tips?&#148; How about take the bridge?  <b>Dude, where&#146;s my car?: </b>Genius. Sheer genius.

Who: Vince A. Marquez Where: Las Vegas, NM What: ’63 Scout Why: He wrote, “I have killed several Scouts trying to cross the Canadian River here in New Mexico. Does anybody have any tips?” How about take the bridge? Dude, where’s my car?: Genius. Sheer genius.

<p><b>Who: </b>Shane Bell  <b>Where: </b>Lewiston, ME  <b>What:</b> Ford Bronco  <b>Why: </b>Semi-frozen stream with a snow covering. Aw, yeah!  <b>Where&#146;d it go?: </b>Will work for third tire.

Who: Shane Bell Where: Lewiston, ME What: Ford Bronco Why: Semi-frozen stream with a snow covering. Aw, yeah! Where’d it go?: Will work for third tire.

<p><b>Who: </b>Clayton Bryan  <b>Where: </b>Copper Canyon, TX  <b>What: </b>Toyota Tacoma, TRD  <b>Why:</b> Everything&#146;s bigger in Texas, even the whoops!  <b>Miseryfest 2000:</b> Severely stuck truck, mosquito-filled night of camping, sticky mud, cut heel (nine stitches), and bloodied carpet. They did it right!

Who: Clayton Bryan Where: Copper Canyon, TX What: Toyota Tacoma, TRD Why: Everything’s bigger in Texas, even the whoops! Miseryfest 2000: Severely stuck truck, mosquito-filled night of camping, sticky mud, cut heel (nine stitches), and bloodied carpet. They did it right!

<p><b>Who:</b> Ryan Kelbey  <b>Where: </b>Greenville, SC  <b>What: </b>The new Jeep submarine  <b>Why:</b> Showing off the fording capabilities of 31-inch tires  <b>Where&#146;s the goat?: </b>Looks like the T-Rex scene from Jurassic Park

Who: Ryan Kelbey Where: Greenville, SC What: The new Jeep submarine Why: Showing off the fording capabilities of 31-inch tires Where’s the goat?: Looks like the T-Rex scene from Jurassic Park

<p><b>Who: </b>Justin Quinzio  <b>Where: </b>Yorba Linda, CA  <b>What: </b>Ford Ranger  <b>Why:</b> Three days of rain and it took a police helicopter to find it.  <b>Picnic basket:</b>Yogi&#146;s smarter than this Ranger.

Who: Justin Quinzio Where: Yorba Linda, CA What: Ford Ranger Why: Three days of rain and it took a police helicopter to find it. Picnic basket:Yogi’s smarter than this Ranger.

<p><b>Who:</b> Rick D&#146;Innocenti  <b>Where: </b>Vancouver, WA  <b>What:</b> &#146;84 Chevy Blazer with &#146;91 front clip  <b>Why:</b> He wrote, &#147;tried to make it grow by watering it.&#148;  <b>Evinrude: </b>That 2hp trolling motor just ain&#146;t gonna cut it.

Who: Rick D’Innocenti Where: Vancouver, WA What: ’84 Chevy Blazer with ’91 front clip Why: He wrote, “tried to make it grow by watering it.” Evinrude: That 2hp trolling motor just ain’t gonna cut it.

<p><b>Who: </b>Jason Vinti  <b>Where: </b>Walla Walla, WA  <b>What: </b>&#146;78 Chevy Blazer  <b>Why:</b> Big mud, little tires  <b>Going down: </b>Call us when you reach China.

Who: Jason Vinti Where: Walla Walla, WA What: ’78 Chevy Blazer Why: Big mud, little tires Going down: Call us when you reach China.

<p><b>Who:</b> Derek Thorsrud  <b>Where:</b> Fort Hood, TX  <b>What:</b> HEMMT  <b>Why:</b> Because it was there  <b>Boy Scout?: </b>Seeking shelter from the impending storm, a lean-to was hastily constructed out of the most readily available object.

Who: Derek Thorsrud Where: Fort Hood, TX What: HEMMT Why: Because it was there Boy Scout?: Seeking shelter from the impending storm, a lean-to was hastily constructed out of the most readily available object.

<p><b>Who: </b>John Johnsen  <b>Where: </b>Aldergrove, B.C.  <b>What: </b>&#146;87 Toyota  <b>Why: </b>Just another excuse to do the stuck victory dance  <b>Punk skateboarders:</b> Dude, then I followed my 540 with an Ollie, like this&#133;.

Who: John Johnsen Where: Aldergrove, B.C. What: ’87 Toyota Why: Just another excuse to do the stuck victory dance Punk skateboarders: Dude, then I followed my 540 with an Ollie, like this….

<p><b>Who: </b>Chris LaDrig  <b>Where: </b>Saginaw, MI  <b>What:</b> &#146;79 Chevy K10  <b>Why: </b>Just bought it and had to see how deep a 38.5-inch Mudder could be buried  <b>Move to Beverleee:</b> Only the most discriminating hillbillies use Chevy rigs to drill for oil.

Who: Chris LaDrig Where: Saginaw, MI What: ’79 Chevy K10 Why: Just bought it and had to see how deep a 38.5-inch Mudder could be buried Move to Beverleee: Only the most discriminating hillbillies use Chevy rigs to drill for oil.

<p><b>Who: </b>Vince and Henry Lee  <b>Where: </b>Piedra, CA  <b>What: </b>&#146;84 Toyota gymnast  <b>Why: </b>Rocky trail, short attention span, sarcastic friends. Cool photo.  <b>Cool: </b>OK, these ball joints look good, now let&#146;s check the other side.

Who: Vince and Henry Lee Where: Piedra, CA What: ’84 Toyota gymnast Why: Rocky trail, short attention span, sarcastic friends. Cool photo. Cool: OK, these ball joints look good, now let’s check the other side.

<p><b>Who:</b> Ray Malinowsky  <b>Where: </b>U.S. Army, Germany  <b>What: </b>Suzuki Samurai  <b>Why:</b> &#133;it can&#146;t be that deep!  <b>Up periscope:</b> We think this dude saw U-571 one time too many.

Who: Ray Malinowsky Where: U.S. Army, Germany What: Suzuki Samurai Why: …it can’t be that deep! Up periscope: We think this dude saw U-571 one time too many.

We don’t really care what the cause is. Whether a pesky varmint jumped out in front of you, your sick and twisted friends dared you into a spot that was tougher than you could handle, or aliens just plain dropped you off upside down in the middle of a cornfield, we just want the photos. And wheels up or on fire, brother, you’ve delivered. If you’re going to play hard, chances are something evil will befall you. It’s the law of averages. Most times it’s only a simple stuck, other times there’s some body damage involved, and once in a while a nice or fully-functional vehicle is turned into an insurance write-off.

For those of you who made it out alive, hopefully you can learn from the misfortunes of others. For those of you who sent in photos, hopefully seeing your carnage in the magazine and being part of the fun will take the sting out. So kick back, grab a cold one, and enjoy the misadventure.

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