Step By Step
Who: Josh Alford Where: Fort Hood, TX What: Chevy S-10 Why: A flash flood and an S-10 that cant swim Wallflower: All the good-looking S-10s swam upstream to mate. This little piggy stayed home.
Who: Jason Elder Where: Dittmer, MO What: 78 F-150 Why: Good ol redneck mud whompin The price: Gonna have to see if those 1/2-ton axles can stand up to 44s since the 39.5s arent doing it.
Who: Mark Hedspeth Where: Fresno, CA What: CJ-7 Aquarium Jeep Why: Jeeps dont float for long. Herbalist: A water and oil enema always brings out a big smile.
Who: Damien Aube Where: Hinesburg, VT What: Jeep Cherokee Hot Pocket Why: The ranger said all campfires must be in a metal container above the ground. Mel Tormé: Weve heard of chestnuts roasting and all, but come on.
Who: Larry Mansfield Where: Porterfield, WI What: Ford F-250 Why: He says, too much gas, not enough Bud Light. Were guessing there was plenty of both. Plan 9 from Green Bay: Heres the gratuitous alien encounter shot. Hope the probe didnt hurt too much.
Who: Boyd Hopkins Where: Fillmore, CA What: Scout Why: Bald tires and no winch point Eternal optimist: Hold on, honey, just a few passes with the grooving iron and well be good to go.
Who: Richard Drake Where: Phoenix, AZ What: 78 Chevy Crew Cab Dualie Why: Street tires + sticky mud = using your Crew Cab as a hotel for the night. The irony: Of all the places to get stuck in a mud hole, Arizona has to be the best.
Who: Rob Wachs Where: Bunola, PA What: Scout II Why: Showin off for the ladies Possum: In a purely defensive move, the modified Scout will play dead until the stock aggressor retreats.
Who: Mark Keim Where: Covelo, CA What: Max-stealth Toyota Why: Fixing a leaky pond (hey, thats what he said) Marlin Perkins: The Toyotas of the Serengeti use the tall grass to sneak up close to their prey.
Who: Ben Majewski Where: Woodinville, WA What: 70 Toyota FJ-55 Why: Were guessing it was a slow Fourth of July. Huh?: Is it an FJ-55 or the worlds biggest pond leech?
Who:Bryan Poupore Where: Lady Lake, FL What: Dodge Power Wagon Why: Dumb-ass buddy dare Stinky?: Geez, that sure looks like one giant steaming cow pie.
Who: Gary Babin Where: Somerset, NJ What: Peter Pan Toyota Why: Hes totaled it three times. That may explain his animosity towards the DMV. Sweet: You know that fireman is thinking, Dumb ass!
Who: Pete Weber Where: Clovis, CA What: Big ol honkin Kenworth Why: No ideaphoto courtesy of driveby Samaritan. Jerry Reed: Eastbound and
Who: Chuck Patton Where: Ash Fork, AZ What: Jeep Cherokee Hang Glider Why: No better way to transport Grandmas dishes. Logic: You mean you still have to stay awake with cruise control?
Who: Vince A. Marquez Where: Las Vegas, NM What: 63 Scout Why: He wrote, I have killed several Scouts trying to cross the Canadian River here in New Mexico. Does anybody have any tips? How about take the bridge? Dude, wheres my car?: Genius. Sheer genius.
Who: Shane Bell Where: Lewiston, ME What: Ford Bronco Why: Semi-frozen stream with a snow covering. Aw, yeah! Whered it go?: Will work for third tire.
Who: Clayton Bryan Where: Copper Canyon, TX What: Toyota Tacoma, TRD Why: Everythings bigger in Texas, even the whoops! Miseryfest 2000: Severely stuck truck, mosquito-filled night of camping, sticky mud, cut heel (nine stitches), and bloodied carpet. They did it right!
Who: Ryan Kelbey Where: Greenville, SC What: The new Jeep submarine Why: Showing off the fording capabilities of 31-inch tires Wheres the goat?: Looks like the T-Rex scene from Jurassic Park
Who: Justin Quinzio Where: Yorba Linda, CA What: Ford Ranger Why: Three days of rain and it took a police helicopter to find it. Picnic basket:Yogis smarter than this Ranger.
Who: Rick DInnocenti Where: Vancouver, WA What: 84 Chevy Blazer with 91 front clip Why: He wrote, tried to make it grow by watering it. Evinrude: That 2hp trolling motor just aint gonna cut it.
Who: Jason Vinti Where: Walla Walla, WA What: 78 Chevy Blazer Why: Big mud, little tires Going down: Call us when you reach China.
Who: Derek Thorsrud Where: Fort Hood, TX What: HEMMT Why: Because it was there Boy Scout?: Seeking shelter from the impending storm, a lean-to was hastily constructed out of the most readily available object.
Who: John Johnsen Where: Aldergrove, B.C. What: 87 Toyota Why: Just another excuse to do the stuck victory dance Punk skateboarders: Dude, then I followed my 540 with an Ollie, like this
Who: Chris LaDrig Where: Saginaw, MI What: 79 Chevy K10 Why: Just bought it and had to see how deep a 38.5-inch Mudder could be buried Move to Beverleee: Only the most discriminating hillbillies use Chevy rigs to drill for oil.
Who: Vince and Henry Lee Where: Piedra, CA What: 84 Toyota gymnast Why: Rocky trail, short attention span, sarcastic friends. Cool photo. Cool: OK, these ball joints look good, now lets check the other side.
Who: Ray Malinowsky Where: U.S. Army, Germany What: Suzuki Samurai Why:
it cant be that deep! Up periscope: We think this dude saw U-571 one time too many.
We dont really care what the cause is. Whether a pesky varmint jumped out in front of you, your sick and twisted friends dared you into a spot that was tougher than you could handle, or aliens just plain dropped you off upside down in the middle of a cornfield, we just want the photos. And wheels up or on fire, brother, youve delivered. If youre going to play hard, chances are something evil will befall you. Its the law of averages. Most times its only a simple stuck, other times theres some body damage involved, and once in a while a nice or fully-functional vehicle is turned into an insurance write-off.
For those of you who made it out alive, hopefully you can learn from the misfortunes of others. For those of you who sent in photos, hopefully seeing your carnage in the magazine and being part of the fun will take the sting out. So kick back, grab a cold one, and enjoy the misadventure.