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Ask Bree Three - September 2006 - Jeeps, Off Road, & Pictures

September 2006

Bree AndreWriterMichael AlbertiPhotographer

Nearly every show we go to has half-naked ladies running around marketing the latest automotive gadget. This gives us plenty of opportunities to test our best pick-up lines -- real proven winners like, "Hi, I'm a magazine editor with no hope of ever making any real money," or, "Wow! Are those real? Can I touch 'em?" We're not sure why, but we just haven't hit pay dirt - until now. We bumped into Bree and found out she doesn't actually like us, but she likes Jeeps. We hired her so we could keep staring. You can ask her questions and stare at her picture. Run your best pick-up line by her, find out what the hottest Jeep is, or maybe get some beauty and waxing tips like Editor Cappa did. Write 'em up or type them in to:

Jp Magazine
Ask Bree Three
6420 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90048

or e-mail askbreethree@yahoo.com.
For more pics and info about Jp's new staffer, check out www.breeonline.com.

1.Why do women wear green or blue toenail polish? It looks like fungus.
Mac Francis
Spokane, Washington

Sparkly blue nail polish! Not me! The more violently colored and metallic it is, the better, in my book. I only wear it on my toenails, so unless it's summer, the color of my toenails is my own little secret. Good thing, too, since until yesterday they were a vivid metallic Barbie pink. My all-time favorite color is silver chrome metallic. It looks great on my little tan toes. I love a sexy pair of heels and well-manicured toes. It makes the whole outfit, if you ask me.

2.Why do women with muffin tops (flesh spilling out over their jeans) wear shirts that are too small (short) for them?
Kelly Cappa
Somerset, Kentuck

I have to fess up and say I have never heard of a muffin top until now. That is hilarious! I think women do this because they feel that they have to keep up with trends and style. Thank God longer shirts and tanks are in right now. I think women should wear what makes them look their best. I hope I never have a muffin top. I know sometimes I do sport a plumber's butt with all the low-rise jeans I wear. Now, let me ask, is that sexy?

3.Why is it gross when women fart but funny when guys do?
O. Burns
San Marcos, California

OK, well, obviously, it's a turn-off when a woman does it. But I don't care what you say, farts, in general, are so dang funny. I will probably still laugh at a fart if/when I live to be 90. Also, a few things to remember:
1. A woman doesn't fart. She poots.
2. Always tell her to roll down the window.
3. Give her a high five.
4. Rate the aroma.
5. Guess what she ate.
6. Try to beat or at least match the fart.

Boys, if you're brewing up abiggy, put a lighter to it and show her how to blow flames the unconventional way.Girls, the best payback is in public. Men are pigs, but women do it with class! Men fart, women fluff. And yes, guys, we do smell like roses.